the ticking of the clock

I am a sucker for all the ads from Nike and friends.  I like the taglines.  Just do it.  No excuses.  Those two pretty much sum it up as far as running goes.  I think anyone can do amazing things if they adopt that attitude.  But I’m full of excuses right now.  5 weeks of no running, and I went out for a 7 mile hilly run.  Dumb.  Obviously.  Not surprisingly, I injured myself.  Rather than call H to pick me up, I slogged out the last two miles home and made it worse.  It’s not serious.  I’ll be back running in a week or three at worst but still.  The want is coming back though.  Immediately after, I didn’t want to work.  Didn’t want to run.  Basically didn’t want to do anything.  I’m remembering what it feels like to work hard and reap the rewards, such as they are.  I’ve been thinking a lot about my 1:43 half marathon lately.  1:43 is nothing amazing – great for me, unattainable for some, terrible for others.  For me, it represented a lot of running in the cold, in the dark, on ice, early mornings, sacrifice.  I want to try again and see what I can achieve.

At the same time, I can’t help but think about #3.  And for me, #3 means putting everything on hold – running, work, etc.  It means absolute misery for two months at a bare minimum, likely closer to three, and nothing resembling running for about a year.  I’m 38.  The clock is ticking on ability to be procreate again, to run fast.  Basically everything physical.  I wonder if it’s as real for men?  For a woman, there’s no denying age.  Menopause will remind you if nothing else.  One of my older mom friends was talking to me about menopause and how it’s sucking for her today.  It’s coming.


In other news, it’s sign-up time for fall activities.  B will be doing soccer once a week and twice a week individual swim lessons.  They only offered daytime group lessons Mondays and Wednesdays, when she has preschool, so individual it is.  (The major drawback is cost.)  She’s been making rather painful process in her group lessons.  She currently has a teacher who is tough and makes her do things she doesn’t want to which results in tears.  It is hard for me to watch, but I cannot deny she’s making progress.  And she says she likes her teacher.  So Bri will have 9 hours of preschool (MWF), 1 hour of swim (TR), and 1 hour of soccer on Tuesday mornings.  It should be enough to keep her busy.

L’s freestyle is starting to look kind of awesome (even if she can only do it 10 or 15 yards), but I’m not sure yet if we’ll do fall swim lessons for her.  I feel like school is such a huge commitment, I don’t want her to be overwhelmed.  Dance is her favorite activity.  I am not a huge fan of dance.  I don’t like the costumes.  I don’t like what pointe shoes do to feet.   I don’t like the ultra-competitive nature of ballet.  I don’t like the lack of team that you have in group sports. I don’t like that it lasts all year instead of just a season.  But it can’t be denied that she loves it, so dance will be her primary activity.  She’ll probably do an hour of dance after school, once a week.  We’ll also possibly do a weekend swim lesson.  And that’ll be it to start, as she adjusts to first grade and gets used to being spoken to in French again.

yet another

When I “opened” the local newspaper this morning, I came across yet another #metoo case.  I find it extraordinary how in almost all of these cases, there are many many women who have come forward.  I can’t decide if this is because these guys always are abusive or obnoxious to many women, or if if no one listens until 10 or 12 people have come forward, at least in the case of someone prominent.  This particular guy, David Meinert, has been accused to “misconduct” by 11 women, including assault and rape between 2001 and 2015.  (Meinert is a “prominent business man and activist” in Seattle.)  Two of them filed police reports, but apparently nothing happened until now, when the local NPR station published reports highlighting the accusations.  What if NPR hadn’t published those reports?  Might this guy have continued on without issue for another few years?

(Is it really appropriate to lump RAPE in the category of #metoo?  The ST categorized their story as a subset of that broader movement / “discussion”.  But to me, rape is a crime on par with murder that should stand on its own, apart from other types of harassment.)

“Whether at a bar or in a boardroom, Meinert had a reputation for aggressive-bordering-on-inappropriate behavior, according to seven people who worked with him in a variety of capacities.  Those interviewed described instances of Meinert hitting on employees at his businesses, making sexually charged comments and not backing down when rebuffed.”  Why are people like this tolerated?  I can’t think of anyone I interact with at work that behaves like this.  I guess I’m not sure what I’d if there was someone; if someone doesn’t cross the line in public, and they are good at what they do, it’s hard to get rid of them.

swim lessons

I’m so proud of L.  She was promoted to Level IV of the Y swimming classes today.  Basically, she’s learned how to do the crawl and side-breathe.   She can still only swim about 10 yards before she needs a break.  On a macro level, it’s not a big deal.  My brother was already swimming competitively at age 6, as do many, many kids back where I grew up.  Still, it’s been an uphill battle here.  First of all, global warming aside, we still don’t have THAT much truly hot weather here in Seattle.  It’s in the 80s to low 90s the last few days, but as of Wednesday it’ll be back in the 70s.  There are very few neighborhood pools here.  Most pools have limited “free swim” time, just lessons and classes most of the day.

Then, I started L in swim lessons at 3.  The teacher promptly dunked her.  Hysterics ensued, and we ended up dropping out.  (It didn’t help that Bri was an infant in arms at that point.)  We sporadically did swim through the years, and she finally made it out of Level I (water acclimation) into Level II (Water Movement.)  Water Movement is more or less where they learn to swim.  To get out of Level II, you need to be able to kind of swim, not gracefully, but definitely swim.  And she was stuck in Water Movement forever.  We kept not signing up for lessons for one reason or another – classes were full or it wasn’t convenient or whatever.  Finally, this summer, I decided these children were going to learn to swim.  The Y does lessons Monday through Thursday in summer to two week sessions, and so both girls started going to the lessons four days a week.  Our awesome nanny found a pool that actually had free swim in the afternoons and started taking them swimming a few times a week in addition to lessons.  And finally, not surprisingly, they started making progress.

Some things are easy for L.  Reading, studying, art, dance, things that aren’t physical or scary.  Those things are easy.  But things like swimming, riding a bike, and probably lots of things to come, are not easy at all.  And the satisfaction when she learned to ride her bike and now learned to swim is just huge.  It feels so good for both of us.

blue on blue

If I had a quilter-crush, it would definitely be Carolyn Friedlander.  Despite the fact that I haven’t quilted in a year (and am DETERMINED to finish the front of my Aran sweater before I resume), i still follow a fair few quilters on Insta.  But Friedlander is the one who stands above the rest.  Anyway, love the two-tone blue quilt here.  So. Much.  My blue-loving older daughter would also love it.  Maybe . . .   I also love the kids’ book Blue on Blue.  Also, so good.

I’ve been delving into easy reading lately.  I’m loving LIane Moriarty, and my old favorite Maeve Binchy.  Currently “reading” Week in Winter.

St. Brigid

I’ve picked up my knitting again.  St. Brigid is a bucket list knit, and I knew it was going to take forever . . . and it is living up to billing.  It’s not really particularly hard, but the pattern is sufficiently complex that I haven’t been able to memorize it, which means knitting it always requires a certain amount of concentration.  In any case, the back is done (one mistake, which I think is not noticeable to the layman), and I’m determined to finish the front sometime in the not too distant future.  Which means in the next month or two.  As always, I’m eager to take on something new and lazy about finishing the old.  I’ve been obsessed with running and the like lately, but I’m feeling my interests circle back to crafting, just a little bit.

In other news, like half of the world, I can’t stop thinking about the Thai soccer players.  Of course there are people dying right and left all over the world, but everyone is coming together to save these people, and it’s sort of a failure of humanity if they can’t manage it.  So, I’ve checked CNN more in the last couple days than in the previous couple months.  Hopefully there will be good news in the morning.