As a runner, news about Eliza Fletcher has been all over the sites I frequent.  It is much like the outcry after Ahmaud Arbery’s death.  I have a lot of the same emotions now that I did then.  I think the appropriate emotions in both cases are anger and sadness.  I feel incredibly sad that Eliza’s two children, ages 5 and 7, will grow up without their mother.  Since having kids, there’s something about a child losing their mother that bothers me in a really irrational visceral way.  It’s hard to explain.

Nevertheless, the emotion that I don’t think is appropriate is fear, any more than you should feel afraid to get on a plane because a plane crashed somewhere.  Yes, you might die in a plane crash, but it’s very unlikely.  It doesn’t make sense to be afraid of dying in a plane crash unless you also feel fear every time you into a car.  And in the US, you are LESS likely to be murdered running than to die in a plane crash.  Not a little bit less likely – a lot less likely.  This is true regardless of your gender and race.

Thankfully, murders of runners are very rare.  In the United States, we’re talking low single digits every year, whereas thousands of pedestrians die from being struck by motor vehicles annually.  Running is actually an incredibly safe activity in terms of likelihood of being attacked.  Perhaps it’s because the attacker would have to chase the runner.  I don’t know.

Fletcher was murdered at 4:30 in the morning, but most runners are murdered during the day, possibly because would-be murderers are sleeping early in the morning.  Maybe because women are more likely to run during the day?  I don’t know.

On the one hand, I appreciate the outpouring of grief and sympathy.  Eliza Fletcher was one of our own.  It does bother me a bit that I’m not sure if her family wants this or appreciates it.  All over the country, women are going on runs for Eliza.  Is that meaningful?  I don’t know.  It doesn’t feel meaningful to me, so I won’t be doing it.  The same thing happened with Ahmaud, and I skipped it then, too.  But I can see how some people might find it meaningful.  With that said, I certainly thought of Fletcher on my run this morning.  (ETA: Apparently  many, many women are meeting at 4:30 am to run for Eliza.  I have to say that getting out of bed for a 4:30 am run is a significant step beyond slacktivism and running a run you were going to do anything and dedicating it to someone.  I am moved.)

I appreciate that people are making the point that it’s unacceptable for women to be assaulted and murdered while they’re out for a run.  Yes.  Obviously I wholeheartedly agree.  But unfortunately, in trying to make their point, I feel like people insinuate that this sort of thing happens frequently and that women need to be afraid.  So many runners have posted in Instagram about their fear of being assaulted while running.  And there’s a sort of insinuation that men are somehow responsible.

First, and most importantly, I think it’s incredibly harmful to suggest that running alone is dangerous and that women shouldn’t do it.  As a woman, I shouldn’t have to live my life in fear.  And the great news is that I DON’T have to.  Please don’t tell me I should be afraid when the numbers don’t support it.

Second, “men” aren’t responsible.  The perpetrator in this case was charged with rape as a minor.  ETA: He also had five separate assault charges against him.  Then he kidnapped someone else and spent 20 years in jail for it.  He was released without supervision and was known to have been harrassing women for sex since his release.  He and my husband and your husbands and the vast majority of men on the planet have nothing in common other than gender.  While it’s certainly true that the overwhelming majority of running murder victims are women and close to 100% of the perpetrators are men, I think we need to be a bit more specific about who is committing the crimes.  It’s not helpful to generically complain about male behavior.  My husband doesn’t go around raping and kidnapping and murdering people.  Does yours?

If we want to save runners’ lives, we probably lower speed limits.  If we want to save runners from being murdered, which would save far fewer lives, lifetime sentences for rapists and kidnappers would probably be a good start.  Maybe two strikes you’re out for crimes of kidnapping, rape, murder, and sexual assault of a minor.