in the time of coronavirus

The kids are doing school online.  For Isla, she basically does a normal school day from 8:30 to 2:30.  Up to half the time, she’ll be Skyping with an instructor.  The other half, she’s working independently.  It works extremely well overall.  It doesn’t work quite so well with Bri.  She has about an hour of Skyping a day, and she needs someone to be sitting with her the whole time.  She also needs support from us for any “independent” work.  This is causing me a huge amount of stress, because I cannot put Saoirse down for naps.  She wakes right up, and if she doesn’t nap, she becomes hysterical.  It’s hard to work the feeding and napping (not to mention feeding myself and the older girls) around Bri’s needs.

My local grocery store has been doing a pretty good job staying stocked.  I was alarmed when shelves started to empty initially, but it hasn’t gotten worse, so that’s good.  I don’t care so much about toilet paper, paper towels, tissues, etc.  What is scary to me is if food starts to disappear.  I finally got formula in two weeks after ordering from Amazon.  Fortunately, before this Coronavirus thing even started, I had laid in a one month emergency supply of formula, just in case.  I was thinking earthquake, but I guess it came in handy for this.

We have a lot of cases around here – 100 to 150 / day tested, but likely 700 to 1500 actual.  That’s per day, by the way.  7.5% of those who have tested positive have died – already.  I expect the percent will go up.  This obviously reflects the lack of testing locally.  Honestly, it makes me wonder if we should move somewhere that actually has their act together.  Clearly not New York!  NY is seeming more like a third world country than ever.

I don’t read the news much, which is helping.  I do check the Dept of Health website daily to see the number of cases and deaths every day in my county.  We have not seen a rise in new cases over the last few days, so it seems like canceling school and the “stay at home” order is helping.  I have been coping oddly well mentally with the situation, but I am exhausted.  It feels like I have been in a constant state of stress since getting diagnosed with gestational diabetes last August.  Maybe since getting diagnosed with previa in June or July.  It’s just been one thing after another – previa, gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, postpartum hypertension, Saoirse in the hospital for two weeks, three further weeks of tube feeding, months of measuring her food and weighing her all the time.  I honestly stopped worrying about her two weeks before we had our first death locally, and it was back to worryville at that point.  I just feel like I need a break, but there is no choice but to march on.

I will be shocked if schools reopen around here.  So when do things get back to normal?  I’m just praying we’re looking at 3 to 6 months and not 12 to 18 months.  And “normal” will likely be a major economic downturn.  But I’m trying not to think about that, yet.