What a night.  B took a bit of a turn for the worse yesterday – nothing scary, just a very stuffy nose that made her uncomfortable and made it hard for her to sleep or eat.  We were up quite a few times last night, and she was cranky much of today because she really didn’t nap.  Then she suddenly got very upset tonight and basically started screaming in pain.  I’m 90% sure it was gas because she passed gas and pooped very green poop (which is a sign of gas in babies).  I’m not sure what triggered it.  I was able to calm her down within a 10 or 15 minutes by just bouncing her in front of the running shower.  I remembered that calmed L a few times when she was really inconsolable.  When she’s upset like that, I just feel this controlled panic.  J is very good with the kids, and I feel he’s up to handling basically anything with L that I am; sometimes I’m better at dealing with her, and other times he is.  He really had to step up when I was pregnant, and they developed a very close bond.  With B, though, since I’m the one with her most of the time, and because I’m nursing exclusively, I am much better at soothing her when she is upset, so I know that if I can’t calm her, handing her to J is not going to help.  And when your child is literally crying out in pain, you just feel this desperation to fix it.  Luckily, this time, I was able to.  I took maybe an hour to get her to sleep, not bad, but the actual screaming part was short-lived, thankfully.  But when it’s going on, I just don’t know how long it’s going to last and whether it’s something more serious and we need to be calling the doctor and thinking about a trip to an ER.  These things always happen at night, of course.  The whole thing just makes me kind of tired and sad.  We’ve been dealing with somebody in the house being significantly sick for about two and a half weeks now, and it’s just getting old.

We ended up cancelling our planned vacation in Oregon, mostly because B was sick, but also because of predicted 90% chance of rain every day of the trip, high surf warnings, and flood warnings.  Hopefully we’ll go in a few weeks.

I bought myself a little birthday present, which I love.  L is trying to commandeer it, but I am fighting back.  It’s the Vera Bradley weekender bag.  I have been coveting a Vera Bradley bag for years, and now I am the proud possessor of one.

A friend of mine who is turning 40 next year is doing 39 steps to 40 – basically 39 things he wants to do before he’s 40.  I am turning 35, so I have more time.  I was thinking that perhaps I should make my own list of things I’d like to accomplish in the next five years.  It occurred to me today that by 40, I will be past my physical peak, and no matter how hard I train I won’t be able to run as fast as I could now with the same amount of training.  It’s a depressing thought, and a clear sign that yes, my body is ageing and deteriorating.  So my list would definitely have some running goals.  Anyway, it’s something I’m thinking about.