My blog was down for a few days – actually nearly a week – while I was dealing with hosting issues. This made me realize how much I value being able to write here. Yes, I could write in a personal journal. I did more many, many years, from elementary school, through high school, college, and grad school. I think finding “my man” had something to do with my diminished urge to write down private thoughts. Maybe my life is just more boring? I guess I like sharing with people – not too many people, mind you, which is why I don’t share my posts on Facebook or something like that. Writing is unbelievably therapeutic. Sometimes, I don’t need that therapy, but right now, dealing with morning sickness, it is incredibly important to me. While my blog was down, it was so frustrating not to be able to write about my misery in a way that would not be lost. I thought about writing myself an e-mail, but never quite got around to it. Anyway, I didn’t realize how much I’d miss being able to post, since I often don’t post that frequently, but when I do get the urge to write, I really want to write, even if my thoughts are somewhat inconsequential.
I’m nearly 13.5 weeks. The relief has kind of come, but it’s not dramatic enough to satisfy me, but I guess that is the way it goes.
I also used to keep a personal journal through college. Then I blogged. Now I don’t, but I haven’t felt the urge to pick up a personal journal. I think for the most part we are old, and less angsty. Hanging out with all the real full-time young’en law students makes me really glad I am not 23 any more on the emotional drama front.
My attempts to keep a journal on paper have failed every time within anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. Something about writing online and publicly appeals to me more. My blog archives go back to 2001 (and I have back to ’98 on my computer) and yeah, I was WAY more angsty back then. I sometimes think about taking a lot of my pre-2006ish stuff offline, but then again, I am weirdly proud of the fact that my archives go back so far. I mean, 13 years of my life is there! Wow!
The tone of my entries has changed a lot. These days I write a lot less rambling musings and a lot more about specific things — crafts, activities, whatever. It’s definitely related to 1) getting older in general and 2) “settling down.” My social group is smaller now, and with a lot of kids in the mix there aren’t as many random outings. Life has changed. I wouldn’t say it’s more boring, but it’s just different.
But I still love blogging. 🙂