It’s hard to overstate how demoralized I’ve been today.  I’ve just felt like shit from morning til night.  I woke up with nausea and headache, and it pretty much continued all day long.  B took care of L most of the day, but I got her down for her nap and took her to the library afterwards.  The library is 10 minutes away and we stayed for maybe 15 minutes.  I honestly wasn’t sure I could hold it together for the 35 or 45 minutes the trip entailed.  It was basically torture.  I just do not want to exist right now.  And I don’t like myself.  I don’t like this person who doesn’t want to do anything, who is depressed and negative, and who mostly just watches TV all day.  Or reads.

The highlight of my day may have been scoring 160 on an online IQ test. Given my splitting headache and nausea, I was proud of myself. The lowlights were puking my guts out afterwards, and the demoralizing library trip.

I have been taking a lot of internet quizzes lately.  Apparently I should have been a professor.  Funny that that is what I wanted to be in college and grad school.  In reality, I’m not sure the whole tenure race would have made me happy, but I still think I’d make a good prof at a 2nd or 3rd tier school.  Too bad  I lack the necessary degree.  I am apparently the wife in Downton Abbey, you know, the wife of the guy who owns the place.  She is a bit blah and boring, don’t you think?  Not a great result.   In Harry Potter, I am not surprisingly Hermione, a more satisfying result.  Given a choice, I’d say I’d like to be Cousin Violet in Downton Abbey, except for her age.  I’ve no desire to be old, since I clearly handle ill health with very little grace.  Maybe Lady Sybil would be a better choice?  As for Disney princesses, Belle here I come!  I do love Beauty and the Beast.  Such a great movie.

Seriously, people, I’m going to survive this, right?  I am just hating life so much right now.  By 9:00 in the morning, I just want the day to be over.

Seriously.  Never.  Again.  Ever.